So I thought I'd do a real post this time.  The top 10 lists are getting a little old.  Also, David Letterman threatened to sue me if I continued.  Of course, I could always kidnap his child and get him to drop the suit, but that would require a whole lot more effort than I'm willing to put in. 

Anyway, I did go to both of my classes today, and I didn't learn anything (other than the fact that my GOVT 101 professor has an unnatural obsession with Jon Stewart).  After that Jon and Jeff decided to go to Plaza Azteca instead of class.  That's got to be a first--me going to class and them skipping.  Anyway, I went with them and we all had the San Jose burrito (highly recommended, and a steal at $5.75 plus 10% discount).  We then sat around the fountain for no particular reason (at least, I had no particular reason for doing so) for...well, I don't remember for how long, but it was a while.  Then I left, and settled into my routine of doing nothing for the next couple hours.

After Jon got back from his late class, we went to dinner...which was absolute crap.  Such a letdown, especially after an exquisite lunch.  After dinner Jon and I participated in some clandestine activities, then went out to play a little pool with Jeff.  I had a pretty good night, at least for me.  I missed some incredibly easy shots (as usual), and made a couple that defied the traditional laws of physics.  Whatever, it was fun.  We stopped by Wendy's afterwards and purchased some much needed sustenance which was not provided by the abysmal dinner we had previously consumed.  We then made a huge pick-up.  Jeff found a table (which looked like it had been made in a middle-school shop class, but was still perfectly functional) on the side of the road on his way back from work.  He also spied a few other goodies in that same location, so we stopped by on the way back to pick up a couple things.  We got a recliner, which, other than being a little damp, is very nice, and a vacuum cleaner, which is a piece (and has already been discarded).  So we rearranged the furniture in the room to make room for our new item and provide some much-needed feng shui.  And that's pretty much it.  Today was a pretty good day, especially for a weekday.  Tomorrow will no doubt be far suckier (despite the fact that I have no class) due to the presence of an unfinished (actually, unstarted) paper due on Friday and a take-home exam.  Oh well, I'll tackle them like I tackle everything else:  at the extreme last minute.

So the unthinkable happened:  Duke lost.  Actually I was kind of expecting it.  They weren't that good this year.  Still, it sucks because now I've lost a lot of interest in the tournament.  This weekend's games were very exciting, which helps, but it's not the same now that my team's no longer playing.  Therefore, I have compiled a list of 10 ways to make this year's tournament more exciting.  It's difficult because, like I said, the games have been great, but I'll take a whack at it nonetheless. 

10.  Teflon-coated courts.

9.  5-second shot clock.

8.  Mandatory "one midget per team" rule.

7.  Get that Spanish soccer announcer to do the Final Four.  Make him say "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL" after every basket.

6.  Make Dick Vitale remove one article of clothing every time he mentions an ACC team.

5.  Make officials carry alpine horns instead of whistles.

4.  Get rid of 3-point shooting contest at the Final Four; replace with breakdancing competition.

3.  Get rid of women's tournament; replace with dishwashing competition.

2.  Replace Michigan State with a pack of ravenous, starving wolves.

1.  Prizes!  National Champion: a million dollars!  Runner-up:  death! 

I just realize that my life sucks.  Actually, it's not that bad.  I'm quite privileged to be in the position that I'm in (going to college and whatnot), and I'm blessed to have the things that I have.  But something's not right...a certain malaise has crept over me.  Mmmmmm, malaise.  Sorry.  Then it dawned on me:  my life is incredibly boring.  As Ashley so kindly reminded me last night at Cheddar's, I don't ever do anything.  So now I am setting out to spice up my life a little bit, and here are 10 ways by which I can go about doing it.

10.  Crazy alarm!  I buy some weird alarm that I can program to go off randomly.  I can only get out of bed when it goes off, and when it goes off, I have to get up and stay up for the rest of the day.  If it goes off 10 minutes after I go to sleep, I have to stay up all night.  If it goes off at 3:00 PM, I have to stay in bed until 3:00 PM.  This could screw with my classes some, but who cares?  It'll be awesome!

9. Unpredictable showers.  Here's the plan:  I make a wheel with a little spinning arrow on it (you know what I'm talking about), with different water temperatures on it.  Whatever temperature it lands on, I have to take a shower at that temperature.  One will be scalding hot, another will be freezing cold, another will be normal, and another will be nothing, which means I have to take a shower without water.

8.  Make up my own language and speak and write in it exclusively.  All the words will be some derivative of "feces."  I'm not sure how it will work, but I'll worry about that later.

7. Become a member of the Church of Mario Van Peebles.  Don't worry, it's not really a religion, it's more of a way of life.

6. Only eat those taquitos they serve in Disco and record my findings via video documentary.  It'll be like "Super-Size Me", only better.  I'll probably win a Nobel Prize or something.

5. Disregard inhibitions at least once a day.  Have you ever been sitting in a class or listening to a speaker and thought, "you know, it'd probably be really inappropriate for me to say/do ___ right about now"?  Well, it is now my goal to say/do ___ at least once every day.

4. Random disease day!  Once a week I will flip through a pathology book and choose a random disease.  Whichever one I choose, I have to act out its symptoms all day.  It'll be swell!  Although I'm not sure how I'd act out syphillis...oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

3. Get naked in public once per day.  This one's pretty self-explanatory.

2. Flip off every cop I see.  This includes campus police and the real-deal state troopers.  When they come to arrest me, I'll speak in "Fecalese", and they'll probably just walk away.  Or maybe take me to a mental institution.  Either one works, I'm not picky.

1. Memorize the collective works of Steely Dan.  What can I say, it's always been an ambition.

There you have it, the top 10 ways to make my life more interesting.  Now it's bedtime.  I better get all the sleep I can, my alarm could go off at any second.